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Miss Schism/dialogue
*'Miss Schism:' Oooh, my dear, have you heard the news? **Ok, tell me about the news. ***'Miss Schism:' Well, there's just too much to tell at once! What would you like to hear first: the vampire, the bank or the battlefield? ****Tell me about the vampire. *****''Before Vampire Slayer'' ******Dialogue missing *****''After Vampire Slayer'' ******'Miss Schism:' Well, there's nothing to tell Now. You killed it. ******'Player:' You could sound a little grateful. ******'Miss Schism:' I'm sure I could, but I don't see why. The vampire wasn't bothering me. ******'Player:' ... ****Tell me about the bank. *****'Player:' What about the bank? *****'Miss Schism:' It's terrible, absolutely terrible! Those poor people! *****'Player:' Ok, yeah. *****'Miss Schism:' And who'd have ever thought such a sweet old gentleman would do such a thing? *****'Player:' Are we talking about the bank robbery? *****'Miss Schism:' Oh yes, my dear. It was terrible! TERRIBLE! *****'Miss Schism:' But tell me - have you been around here before, or are you new to these parts? ******I'm quite new. *******'Miss Schism:' Aah, perhaps you missed the excitement. It's that old man in his house here. Do you know him? *******'Player:' Well, I've spoken to him. *******'Miss Schism:' When he first moved here, he didn't bring much. From the window you could see he just had some old furniture and a few dusty ornaments. *******'Miss Schism:' Here, look at this picture: *******You look at the picture... ensues *******'Miss Schism:'Also, he always seemed so poor. When I went round to collect donations for the Draynor Manor Restoration Fund, he couldn't spare them a penny! *******'Player:' So he's redecorated? *******'Miss Schism:' Well, just you look in there now! *******ensues *******'Miss Schism:' You see? It's full of jewellery and decorations! And all those expensive things appeared just after the bank got robbed. *******'Miss Schism:' He changed his hat too - he used to wear a scruffy old black thing, but suddenly he was wearing that party hat! *******'Miss Schism:' He's got that horrible woman in there too. I know her type. I'll bet you they're up to no good. *******'Player:' So that's why you're telling people he was the bank robber? *******'Miss Schism:' Oh, my dear, I'm SURE of it! I went upstairs in his house once, while he was out walking, and do you know what I found? *******'Player:' A sign saying 'Trespassers will be prosecuted'? *******'Miss Schism:' No, it was a telescope! It was pointing right at the bank! He was spying on the bankers, planning the big robbery! *******'Miss Schism:' I bet if you go and look through it now, you'll find it's pointing somewhere different now he's finished with the bank. *******'Player:' I'd like to go now. *******'Miss Schism:' Oh, really? Well, do keep an eye on him: I just KNOW he's planning something. ******I've been around here for ages. *******'Miss Schism:' Ah, so you'd seen the changes here. It's that old man in this house here. Do you know him? *******'Player:' Well, I've spoken to him. *******'Miss Schism:' When he first moved here, he didn't bring much. From the window you could see he just had some old furniture and a few dusty ornaments. *******'Miss Schism:' Here, look at this picture: *******You look at the picture... ensues *******'Miss Schism:'Also, he always seemed so poor. When I went round to collect donations for the Draynor Manor Restoration Fund, he couldn't spare them a penny! *******'Player:' So he's redecorated? *******'Miss Schism:' Well, just you look in there now! *******ensues *******'Miss Schism:' You see? It's full of jewellery and decorations! And all those expensive things appeared just after the bank got robbed. *******'Miss Schism:' He changed his hat too - he used to wear a scruffy old black thing, but suddenly he was wearing that party hat! *******'Miss Schism:' He's got that horrible woman in there too. I know her type. I'll bet you they're up to no good. *******'Player:' So that's why you're telling people he was the bank robber? *******'Miss Schism:' Oh, my dear, I'm SURE of it! I went upstairs in his house once, while he was out walking, and do you know what I found? *******'Player:' A sign saying 'Trespassers will be prosecuted'? *******'Miss Schism:' No, it was a telescope! It was pointing right at the bank! He was spying on the bankers, planning the big robbery! *******'Miss Schism:' I bet if you go and look through it now, you'll find it's pointing somewhere different now he's finished with the bank. *******'Player:' I'd like to go now. *******'Miss Schism:' Oh, really? Well, do keep an eye on him: I just KNOW he's planning something. ******I've had enough of talking to you. *******'Miss Schism:' Maybe another time, my dear. ****'Player:' Tell me about the battlefield. *****''During the Battle of Lumbridge'' ******'Miss Schism:' Have you seen the battlefield! Saradomin and Zamorak are fighting over to the east! ******'Miss Schism:' I can't believe what they're doing to the tourist trade! Soldiers everywhere and spells flying over the town. ******'Miss Schism:' I can't believe someone hasn't done something about it! *****''After the Battle of Lumbridge'' ******'Miss Schism:' Yes, it's a great tourist attraction. It proves our little village is important. **Who are you? ***'Miss Schism:' I, my dear, am a concerned citizen of Draynor Village. Ever since the Council allowed those farmers to set up their stalls here, we've had a constant flow of thieves and murderers through our fair village, and I decided that ***'Miss Schism:' someone HAD to stand up and keep an eye on the situation. ***'Miss Schism:' I also do voluntary work for the Draynor Manor Restoration Fund. We're campaigning to have Draynor Manor turned into a museum before the wet-rot destroys it completely. ***''Before Vampire Slayer'' ****Dialogue missing ***''After Vampire Slayer'' ****'Player:' Well, now that I've cleared the vampire out of the manor, I guess you won't have too much trouble turning it into a museum. ****'Miss Schism:' That's all very well dear, but no vampire was ever going to stop me making it a museum. **I'm not talking to you, you horrible woman. ***'Miss Schism:' Oooh.